last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
