I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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