god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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