God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
