why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
