it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
