yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
