i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize