Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
