Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
