New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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