I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
