just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
