She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
