Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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