If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
