She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
