It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
