This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
