Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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