She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
