3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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