Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
