Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
