Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
