This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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