he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
