He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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