And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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