At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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