3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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