Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
