I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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