I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
