she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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