Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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