do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
