This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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