i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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