i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
