eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize