Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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