Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
