So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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