I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
