I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
