My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize