i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
