Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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