she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize