Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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