I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
