is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
