She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it hurts more in the daytime
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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