'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
