I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
