He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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