Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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