Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize