So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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