she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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