We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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