Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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