im gay
i know
yea but for you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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