S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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