she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You are the jesus of drinking
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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