Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
