she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
