Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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