fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
