we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
a search helicopter?!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
