I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So many bounce houses so little time
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
