using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
